Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Baby in my tummy

We had the miraculous experience of having our ultrasound yesterday.  Both boys played hooky from preschool and came with us.  Noah David snuggled up next to me in the dimly lit room on the stretcher, and Daniel Isaac eagerly sat at my feet.  Daniel stood right there, eyes on the screen.  My eyes shifted from screen, to ultrasound tech (I always tend to look at her face because I think I can read her if something were wrong), to my boys, to Daniel.  The boys were fascinated and had lots of questions.  Daniel was so joyful, and being the outstanding father that he is...he easily juggled (literally...Noah David was hanging upside down from his shoulders for half of the time) being interested and tuned in to each of us, including baby on the screen.  He loves us so well.  DI and ND were most eager to find out if we were having a brother or sister, and we were all excited to hear we are having another brother!  We know just what to do...baby super hero capes will be sewn soon.  Josiah Solomon Taylor is due to arrive October 3.  We love our son's name.  Josiah means "God saves" or "Yahweh hears".  And Solomon was Daniel's great grandfather's name, on top of being a wise king in the Bible, and means, "peaceful."  We really love Josiah's story...to read the full account, go to 2 Kings 21 & 22, but here's my favorite to sum him up from 2 Kings 22:1-2...


"Josiah was eight years old when he began to reign, and he reigned thirty-one years in Jerusalem. His mother's name was Jedidah the daughter of Adaiah of Bozkath.  And he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord and walked in all the way of David his father, and he did not turn aside to the right or to the left."

We hope and pray for each of our children that they will always focus on what is right in the eyes of the Lord, not man...and that they will walk with Him, unwavering.  That their confidence will be found in the only real consistent, True Being...the Lord God.  The one who hears, saves, loves, protects, gives.  We are thankful; we are excited.  Everything looks healthy and growing well.  And now we get to pray for Josiah by name.  

Tonight as I was praying with the boys and got to, "Father, please be with our baby in Africa..." I trailed off and could barely speak with the lump swelling in my throat and tears flowing.  Daniel Isaac said, "Mama, why does your voice sound like that?"  Noah David went from his wiggling 2 year old bottom up-to-avoid-settling position to still and snuggle right on my shoulder.  I replied, "Mommy is sad that we don't know our baby in Africa.  I'm sad that we don't know them by name yet and that we don't know how they are doing."  Daniel Isaac's precious self said softly, "It's ok, Mama.  God will take care of our baby in Africa."  And those were some of the wisest, reassuring words I could've ever heard, and they struck me to my core.  

Mommy is sad.  I'm sad that our baby sometimes feels forgotten...never by us, but that he/she seem so far away.  So out of reach...     That we don't know if he/she is healthy....  That we don't know what pregnancy was like for birth mother......   That we don't know how scared and alone he/she has been.  

We are asked often if "we are still planning on going through with the adoption."  And while I believe this question is innocent and means no harm, it feels like being asked, "will you still parent your child or will you leave them abandoned and fatherless and hopeless?"  It feels the same as if someone asked us, "So will you still go through with this pregnancy?"  Of course!  Our baby in Africa has been sought after and prayed over for over a year now and is not an idea or a nice thing we're doing.  It's our child.  It is a humbling, beautiful calling that the Lord has strongly placed on our hearts.  This child is our own.  

I'm thankful to have such joy and such grief all at once.  And since I am pregnant, I have even more excuse to cry "for no reason".  But there is such reason.  Josiah will have been celebrated by us, family and friends his whole life just as our other boys have been.  Our child in Uganda may or may not have had any type of earthly celebration over his/her life before we meet him/her.  It's heart breaking to me.  And our baby in Uganda is worth our grief and so much more.  And we are going to party like it's 1999 when we receive that first picture.  And when we meet him/her.  And when we finally embrace him/her and bring them home!

THERE IS HOPE.  

Deuteronomy 10:18..."He executes justice for the fatherless......."

Psalm 68:5..."Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in His holy habitation..."

Psalm 82:3...."Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute..."

Psalm 146:9...."...He upholds the widow and the fatherless...."

Isaiah 1:17...."...bring justice to the fatherless..."

John 14:18, from the mouth of Jesus Himself to us...."I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

(above from the ESV Bible)

And we will come to you sweet baby.  Daddy, Mommy, big brothers Daniel Isaac and Noah David, and baby brother Josiah.  We will come to you and celebrate you and love you.  We've been praying and hoping and trusting and celebrating your wonderful life.  

In Him, we have hope.  I have hope that He will see through to completion what He has called us to.  I have hope that little Josiah will grow into a Christ-loving passionate follower of Him alone.  I have hope that His grace really is sufficient for all of my insufficiencies and that His power really is made perfect in my weakness.  

There you have it.  Baby in my tummy.  Baby in Africa.  And we are all in His hands, His care, under His watch.  And that feels so good and safe and reassuring that no matter what...He is.  

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Snail Mail...


Nothing beats it. ESPECIALLY this time of year. Normally, I don't even think about checking the mailbox...in fact, I avoid checking the mailbox because I have a tendency to think that mail = clutter and this house needs no help adding to the clutter! BUT, once the end of November nears, I love checking the mailbox for one reason. CHRISTMAS CARDS! I love getting them, and I can't wait to send ours. I love seeing how everyone's childrenhave grown and the fun designs and the Christmas cheer. I love that my boys enjoy seeing their friends and family on the pictures that come in the mail. I love the words of Christmas cheer. I just love it. And ya know what? Shutterfly is making our Christmas card experience even more cheery this year!

Check this...

A lovely chocolate and red Christmas cheer square...

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/
mer
ry-blossoms-christmas-card?sortType=1&storeNode=93496

OR should I chose...

This colorful cheer?

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/c
olor-me-merry-christmas-5x7-folded-card?sortType=1&storeNode=93496

OR...

This meaninful, colorful card with a sweet message...

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-statio
nery/mod-love-christmas-card-5x7-flat?sortType=1&storeNode=93496

The thing about Shutterfly is that you simply pick your favorite design from lots of different awesome options and then download your photo or photos. They send you your cards, you address and mail 'em! This sure cuts out the printing of pictures and typing and designing your own cards, which sure makes the experience a lot merrier for me!

And ya know, I gotta be honest. I love showcasing my precious boys. I
mean, everyone deserves to get to see their cuteness and
have a little taste of their decadence captured in a photo, right? I'm just sayin'...


Sunday, November 28, 2010

THANKSGIVING LOVE

Check out our new blog:

www.littletaylorlights.blogspot.com

Happy happy thanksgiving and Christmas and winter and all things lovely!

Friday, October 29, 2010

New Blog!

I wanted a fresh start and have been feeling very inspired. So our new blog is just the beginning!

Please check it out, pass it along, and change from following this one to that one. :)

www.littletaylorlights.blogspot.com

Much love from the Taylors!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Lake Keowee

Nana and Pops brought us to Lake Keowee in South Carolina for Labor Day...below is a photo recap of a wonderful long weekend getaway! Thanks, Nana and Pops!

Deep thoughts and snuggles on the boat ride...



Checking out the beautiful lake...sweet brothers...


Noah David (aka "Cotton) helping Pops drive the boat...


Pops and DI enjoying the boat ride...

DI, ND, and Daddy enjoying the cool lake waters...


So...Noah David was walking along the shore, toppled over, and just stayed there without making a peep, belly up, and waited for Daniel to come help him up. Pahahahaaa!

Ahhh, a heavenly boat nap together!


The boys and Daddy enjoying the pool!

Noah David loved the water spouts and was offended that he was made to hold Mommy's hand.

What cute little sun bathers!

The water slides were a blast! ALL of us enjoyed them immensely! I had great video footage of Nana laughing hysterically as she flew into the water down the slide and of Noah David bravely going down by himself into Daddy's arms and of DI sliding by himself and with Daniel...but I can't figure out how to get the video to work on here. So just use your imagination to picture that fun! :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Oh the sweetness of this life!

Below are some photographs I took of my sweet nephew Baby Jake (Jacob Fletcher Andrus) born to John David and Jessica on August 24. He is absolutely beautiful and precious and such a gift. My eyes cannot stay dry when I'm near him, and I'm not even "a cryer"! He's just such a blessing.

Please take special note of his perfect chin placed just right!


He is a perfect gift from Above!


Look at those big bright eyes!


He smiles all the time; he is so well cared for by his mommy and daddy! At just a couple weeks old he's smiling...real smiles not gas smiles! Ahhh! Love it!


Ahhh, life is good, little man!


His feet are super long and super wonderful.


The epitome of "I could do this all day."


Special delivery!

Angelic, don't ya think? I like his little arm muscles, too. :)


Safe and sound in his mama's arms...what a perfect place to be, little one!


Baby Jake, we love you so very much. Your precious life is celebrated; your Mommy, Daddy and the rest of us adore you!

My heart is so full...

My heart is so full. It's full from drinking in the warm love and pure delight of my precious boys. Noah David's perfectly round bright eyes, paired with his perfectly round belly and his determination to be 100% involved and included in whatever we are doing is something I can drink down like a warm Chai latte on the perfect Fall day. And then my Daniel Isaac...oh his mind! Staring into his deep blue eyes and just wishing I could read his thoughts like the words on one of our Dr. Seuss books...but then if I could read his thoughts how that would take away from the element of surprise when he touches me with saying things like, "Mama, I love this guy (pointing to Noah David)" or "Mama, the Bible is God's Word, and it's special. It really is," as he caresses his prized new Bible that used to be his daddy's. Or when Noah David brings a pair of shoes to me (not necessarily matching or belonging to him), plops down and sticks those fat luscious toes out insisting in his baby language that I put them on because he's ready to go. Or when Daniel Isaac looks very earnestly at the superhero shirt I've laid out for him to wear, raises his eyebrows, cocks his head and lips to the side shaking his head and says, "Mommy, I can't wear this. I need my Flash shirt for today because I'm going to be Flash. He's super fast." Or when Daniel, my high school sweet heart and very best friend, places his strong warm hand on the small of my back and smiles into my soul...or when he plans a date night for us and surprises me with it...that he treasures me and wants to be with me...after 10 years of being together almost 6 of marriage and he still misses me during the day. I was reminded today to "count my blessings", and it is just something that doesn't stop, something that can't stop. Sometimes I sit back and think, "Really, Lord? You're letting me do this? I get to care for theseboys? I really get to be their mama?" What a humbling honor it is to be my husband's girlfriend and my boy's mama. Tears fill my eyes as I reflect on the joy and wonder of this gift, this role...I was made to do this, and I'm so thankful.

A few years ago at John David and Jess's wedding...

Heavenly napping with my boys...

What's not to love about this?

No, he could not possibly be any cuter. Nope way.

Brothers = love.

My heart is so full. It's full from drinking in the warm love and pure delight of my precious boys. Noah David's perfectly round bright eyes, paired with his perfectly round belly and his determination to be 100% involved and included in whatever we are doing is something I can drink down like a warm Chai latte on the perfect Fall day. And then my Daniel Isaac...oh his mind! Staring into his deep blue eyes and just wishing I could read his thoughts like the words on one of our Dr. Seuss books...but then if I could read his thoughts how that would take away from the element of surprise when he touches me with saying things like, "Mama, I love this guy (pointing to Noah David)" or "Mama, the Bible is God's Word, and it's special. It really is," as he caresses his prized new Bible that used to be his daddy's. Or when Noah David brings a pair of shoes to me (not necessarily matching or belonging to him), plops down and sticks those fat luscious toes out insisting in his baby language that I put them on because he's ready to go. Or when Daniel Isaac looks very earnestly at the superhero shirt I've laid out for him to wear, raises his eyebrows, cocks his head and lips to the side shaking his head and says, "Mommy, I can't wear this. I need my Flash shirt for today because I'm going to be Flash. He's super fast." Or when Daniel, my high school sweet heart and very best friend, places his strong warm hand on the small of my back and smiles into my soul...or when he plans a date night for us and surprises me with it...that he treasures me and wants to be with me...after 10 years of being together almost 6 of marriage and he still misses me during the day. I was reminded today to "count my blessings", and it is just something that doesn't stop, something that can't stop. Sometimes I sit back and think, "Really, Lord? You're letting me do this? I get to care for these boys? I really get to be their mama?" What a humbling honor it is to be my husband's girlfriend and my boy's mama. Tears fill my eyes as I reflect on the joy and wonder of this gift, this role...I was made to do this, and I'm so thankful.